Keep cool during an argument!

If your mind is in a whirlwind, you've completely lost your temper and wondering how you can be in relationship with a partner who is so insensitive, argumentative and selfish, keeping your cool during an argument can be a challenging task.
While the age old adage says everything is fair in love and war, but disagreeing with your mate can be mentally harrowing. What's vital to sustain the relationship is to master the kiss n' make up formula. How often you disagree, how you both react and deal during a verbal wrestling match can speak a lot about your chemistry. While it's absolutely normal to disagree, it's also important to avert the war of words from getting ugly and hurtful. Read on to find out how you can agree to disagree and enjoy your differences...
Confuse him/her – Yes! Here's a fun way to settle an argument. People often stop speaking when you flood them with more information than they can mentally process. Neha Choudhary, 26, who works with a multi-national company in Delhi says, "I really improved my vocabulary while I was preparing for my CAT exams. To use it to my advantage, I always baffle my boyfriend with strange words whenever we have a tiff. While he keeps wondering what I meant, I easily have the last word."
Tip: So, folks, it's time to work on your vocabulary. Learn words that he/she can't even begin to comprehend. While they may hunt for a dictionary to find out what you meant, you may have already settled an ugly spat.
Silence speaks – "I often choose to remain quiet when I have heated arguments with my better half. I let him say whatever he wants without interrupting him. After a while, he starts feeling guilty and realises that he was over-reacting and being rude," says Yamini, 32, a home maker.
Tip: If both of you are speaking, nobody's listening (except your neighbours, ofcourse!) So, if your partner goes on and on, try and be silent for a while. Let them speak and vent out their anger and bitterness. "When you are not actively participating in the row and adding sparks, he/she will automatically stop after a while. Wait for the right time to put forth your opinion. Silence can sometimes be the best weapon,"says psychologist Archana Nanda.
Try to empathise – Ajay Sharma, 36, who works as a senior manager in a bank says, "I often feel that my wife over-reacts on trivial issues. But when I step into her shoes and analyse the problem, it highlights a new perspective and I am able to find a solution. I think it's our ego that forces us to stick to what we believe is right and stops us from thinking from others' point of view."
Tip: Try to see things from your partner's point of view, no matter how wrong or right it may seem to you at first. Empathising with your partner can lend a better understanding of the problem. It may make more sense than what you thought, which could lead to settling the argument.
React proportionately – "Once I had an argument with my wife and she walked out of the house and went to her parents' place. I think it was really silly and immature of her. It just made things worse and escalated the row. Had she stayed back, we would have sorted things out sooner," says Sanjay Rathod, 29, who works in a telecom company in Mumbai.
Tip: Don't blow things out of proportion, though the dispute may seem to be more important than anything else in the heat of the moment. It's important to keep a rational check on your emotional explosions. Identify and analyse what triggered the row in the first place. What is it that has been persistently getting on your nerves? Then ask yourself, "Is it really worth fighting for?"
Don't go angry to bed – "It makes me feel worse when my husband goes to bed without sorting out a misunderstanding or argument we had. It completely turns me off. I think it's absolutely normal to argue, but only when you don't stretch it for days or even months. Not talking to each other is no solution," says Meenakshi , 33, a home maker.
Tip: The worst thing to do is to go to bed with all the pent up anger, frustration and negative emotions that have been building up during the argument. "Sleeping over a fight will only result in waking up with resentment and grudges the next morning. So, even if you argue, keep it short and simple – don't unnecessarily stretch the argument. Be concise and your partner may actually hear you," explains Archana.