08 October, 2008

The mind differentiates the world


Ego causes most of the problems we face in dealing with others. Once we get rid of it, our true nature emerges, says John Bendix.To analyse the breakdown of an intimate relationship is a daunting task. Is it worth the effort? No one can answer this except the person caught up in such a circumstance. Even then, no one can be sure if their efforts will give them a better understanding of this complex dynamics. By delving into the connections that people have in their relationships, more mysteries than truths expose themselves.
We start to realise the many different lines of communication that are available to each partner. Which ones are used and the manner in which they are used are open to each individual and hence the complexity. There is no formula to predict how a relationship may turn out. But certain truths did present themselves to me.
By necessity, I researched all the available data and case histories that dealt with the ‘walk away wife’ phenomenon. I wanted all the information possible to try and figure out why my wife of 21 years wanted out of our marriage. Certain questions kept coming back to me. Did she fall out of love with me just like that? Was it depression, mid-life crisis, hormonal imbalances? Was I looking for reasons or just excuses to explain a sudden marriage break-up? My sons and I were at a loss to come to any cognitive reasons for such irrational events. Then the truth hit me.
There were no real answers or solutions on the conscious level of the mind. I had to go beyond the mind of thoughts to the core of the problem, the ego. The ego that the mind creates in order to give it a means to confront the onslaught of the outside world. A world that it feels threatened by. Certainly, fear has its place in the dissolution of relationships, just as it does in most of our activities.
I began to sense her fears. Fear of the future, of being inadequate, of time slipping by. I examined my fear of the future, of being alone, of divorce procedures, of isolation from my children or raising them alone. I realised that time, contributes greatly to fear. The past no longer exists except as bits of memory and the future is not here and is only an image in our mind of what might be. The only time that really exists is the present moment.
There are as many ways to view the world as there are persons in it. The point of perspective is not how you view it but from where you view it. Through the evolution of the brain of modern man, the mind was created. A mind that is aware of its own thoughts. The mind is also in-charge of protecting the organism it inhabits. Working with the automatic system, which controls involuntary responses and functions, it creates defence mechanisms, which ensure the organism’s survival.
To assist in the processing of the stimuli received from the senses and the responses to the outside world, the mind has created what is referred to as the ego. One that is geared to take on the onslaught of the world. It has a defensive nature that is constantly on alert for threats and attacks.
The ego interprets the information presented to it by the senses and cognetively assesses them and through the mind, produces thought. These thoughts are then transformed, by the ego, into emotions. Emotions are the body’s response to thoughts. Our emotions arise out of these thoughts.
The problems created in man’s responses to world are created by the ego going too far in its nature to perceive what is threatening to the organism and its self. It begins to believe it’s who we really are. A fallacy that creates untold damage to the world it inhabits. By believing itself to be who we are, it will also defend itself against all possible threats.
Mental threats such as verbal assault can be viewed by the ego as possibly diminishing its foothold as the self. The thoughts created in response can create emotions such as hostility towards the person verbally attacking it. What real damage can the verbal assault have upon the organism? None, for it is a imagined threat but the ego does not differentiate between real and imagined and still feels threatened.
These type of emotions are fed back to the ego who now puts itself on a higher level of threat alertness. A cycle has been created and induces the ego to perceive more and more stimuli as possible threats. That which we train our body and minds to do, can more easily be done. The world is now perceived to be a hostile entity with imagined threats all around us.All of us go through life at a level of threat alertness designed by our own egos. Some do not let such perceived threats dictate their responses while others are ready to take offence to the point of violence. It is the level of dysfunction that we allow the ego to obtain that determines our reactions. A runaway ego may even go to the state of mental paranoia. It is not what is said to us, felt, or thought about us that does harm, it is the ego’s reaction that creates the damage.
The ego is in a constant state of self-enhancement to make itself feel more secure. It seeks to acquire more material goods, power, prestige, and so on. The emotional feelings, such as contentment, happiness, and fulfilment, that it receives in feedback from its acquisitions further push the ego to seek more. But just like drug addiction, this feeling is temporary. It is an insatiable thirst. The ego wants more at any cost.
However, we can all do something to alleviate this dysfunction. But it cannot be done on the intellectual level. The mind is ill-equipped in this pursuit. By taking notice of how our mind and ego work, we can begin to function at a higher level.
From the higher self, we begin to see the world as it really is without the judgmental nature of the mind interfering. The mind differentiates the world into groups with similar attributes, for that is one of its purposes. But the ego goes further and separates them. The higher self sees the world and its different features but does not considerate them as separate entities. It sees the connection that all things share. They are part of the whole all creation.
The higher self sees itself as a part of this whole. This underlying truth transforms the way we interact with the world around us. This is the essence of compassion. The deep rooted sense that we are all connected. Who would do harm to someone or something that they know they are connected to or a part of?
My search for answers led me to see that the ego causes most of man’s problems in dealing with one another. When we dispense with the ego, our true nature is brought forth.

06 October, 2008

Straight look into her eyes!


Forget those cheesy pick-up lines and expensive colognes to impress a woman. The winning formula to land a hot date requires nothing but a straight look into her eyes accompanied by a light touch on her arm, according to a new study.
The study, by scientists at Aberdeen University, has found that two-thirds of women gave a nod to dance with a man who requested for a dance by resting his hand on her arm for a second or two.
And those who did not comply with the trick and kept their hands by their side while asking the same question had a success rate of only 50 percent. In fact, women also preferred to give their phone-number to a man who touched their arm as he approached them in the street.
Published in Focus Magazine, the study said that touching makes a man appear dominant, and henceforth more attractive to the opposite sex.
In fact, researcher Dr Ben Jones said that making eye contact also indicates interest in a woman, but only if it is genuine. "Smiling can make you more attractive but it is worth bearing in mind that faking a smile is quite tricky," the Telegraph quoted Jones, as saying.And those men, who find it hard to fake a smile, are advised by Jones to take extra care of their skin, or stay amidst other women to appear more appealing.
There have been innumerable studies on finding the perfect seduction technique. Countless books, manuals (read the Kamasutra) have been dedicated to understanding what drives a man, and woman crazy. Tales of seduction, and seductresses have continued to feed the fantasies of men and women throughout history. While the world tries to master this art, here are some seduction fundamentals that are sure to send your pulses racing.

Sparks alive in your relationship!


Today's hectic lifestyle demands more of everything - more money, more education and more effort to keep the sparks alive in your relationship. We have heard all about sensual lingerie, exotic aroma oils, aphrodisiacs and if nothing works, Viagra; but there's another uncharted element in the art of seduction that can bring the zing back to your love life – colours.
Contrary to popular belief, enjoying a great sex life is not all about possessing technical skills. Sexual desire is one of the most difficult factors to define, for the simple reason that it is more psychological than physiological. Far removed from the humdrum of family rooms and busy kitchens, the bedroom is your love nest. This space, with its softened textures, serene artwork, and muted patterns, should intimately capture the warmth of intimacy and here comes the roles of great interiors and sensual colours. We explore...
Kalpana Arora, Feng Shui expert, elucidates the significance of an elite colour scheme as she says, "a positively charged Feng Shui bedroom is a bedroom which promotes the harmonious flow of nourishing and sensual energy. The colours of this room should be such that they invite you, lure you in, excite and calm at the same time."
Feng Shui consultant Rajat Chawla adds, "Besides catering to the couple's most intimate moments, a bedroom is the place where we relax and because of this it is considered as Yin (quiet) energy. Most practitioners recommend bright red (yang) or bright pinks for a passionate relationship; however, make sure it is as per the elements in that particular area. If you are not seeking advice from a professional Feng Shui consultant, I would recommend yin colours such as pastel shades and nothing too bright or loud. The same applies to bed covers and furniture."
Vijay Singh, a Delhi-based colour therapist, further reveals the importance of colours by explaining the nitty-gritty of the most unexplored healing technique – colour therapy. "Each individual has a different emotional, psychological and physiological response to a particular colour. They are a snapshot of our personalities and our general make-up. We study those behaviours and then suggest the best colour combination that can best resolve the problems of a couple. There's no 'one best color' for everyone"
Surprising, as it may sound, but selecting colours for your love den have a spiritual side to them as well. As Aura reader Manaswi Verma Sanwal explains, "Shades of our auras reflect our moods and we can change the same by adding a bit of colour to our lives. You can use colours to try to compensate for what you're missing. For example, if you are newly married and haven't gained the confidence to take charge in bed, try a good, strong red (bring it in sheets, lingerie or even lipstick). Red is the base colour, it's go-getting, sexy and powerful. And if you think a new blusher isn't going to change your life, think again for even small, subtle things can help. The choice of colours is a conscious decision, and a spiritual one as well.

The extra edge gratifying sexual act!


You would have never thought that a kiss could help keeping dental worries at bay or a gratifying sexual act at night make you feel fit and fresh the next morning. But that's what studies across the web claim. Healthy sex leads to a healthy life. You may have tried copious measures to get that extra glowing skin and shiny hair. You must have also worked out rigorously to achieve that perfect ten figure you've desired. But the key to your mind and heart is fulfilling sex. Even for those who lose their temper or are always in a depressed state of mind, 'sex' can be the solution.
A happy sexual life with your partner not only gets you in shape with better skin texture and silken tresses, it also burns extra calories, keeps you fit, combats asthma, relieves headache, reduces depression and tranquilises your mind. From make-up experts, hair stylists, sexologists and fitness connoisseurs – there's a common consensus that a vigourous sexual life leads to a healthy life – both physically and emotionally. We get them share more on this...
There have been several notions stating that 'sex' produces certain hormones that bring happiness, which lead to a fit body and a healthy mind. Shedding some light on this, Dr. Sanjay Chugh, specialist on sexual issues, states, "Sex contributes to general good health. Any sexual intimacy that is enjoyable and pleasurable promotes well being by providing several physical and psychological benefits. It is believed that sex boosts chemicals in the body that protects us against diseases. Research also suggests that sex and masturbation can help ease joint and muscle pain, combat depression, promote heart health and lengthen one's life span."
Dr. Samir Parikh, clinical physiatrist adds, "The basic fact is that a good sex life also means in a larger picture, a good relationship with one's partner and this makes the partner happier, less stressed and by virtue of that physically healthier."
Not just this, sex also accelerates blood circulation and one's basic metabolic rate, which further enhances the well-being of our mind and soul and helps us calm down.On these emotional benefits, Dr Chugh adds, "A satisfying sexual relationship strengthens the bond between couples, making them feel secure and loved. The feeling of emotional connectedness adds to ones sense of belonging, which in totality helps them achieve a positive physical, psychological and spiritual state that is necessary for one's general health."Elaborating further, on a scientific angle, Dr Avdesh Sharma, a consultant psychiatrist, and an expert on relationship issues shares, "Sex is a way of bonding at the physical, mental and emotional level and leads to health (including psychological) benefits. If it is used as a mechanical process, it may have limited benefits. There are physiological benefits of positive changes in parameters like pulse, heart rate, reduction in blood pressure (after an increase in B.P. specially if vigourous sex is tried), dilation of blood vessels and capillaries of the skin, leading to a 'glow', burning of a few calories (depending on the duration of the act and vigour), exercising of some of the muscles, thus improving lung capacity (during heavy breathing)."
However, we also need to understand that sexual acts work more in terms of improving resistance, but are not a safe guard or a treatment to illnesses. Any sexual act can neither be used as a treatment nor would it change your stresses of life, which one would need to resolve irrespective.
"The extra edge of sex may be due to the feeling of being wanted, an expression of emotions and certain hormonal and physiological changes that happen as an expression of love for another individual. Unfortunately, the benefits of sexuality are usually quoted out of context and people may look at this as a panacea for everything. But sexuality without emotions have limited value," concludes Dr Avdesh Sharma.

Stress is squeezing the fun!


Do you feel that stress is squeezing the fun out of your bedroom life? If yes, then you can bring back the action, courtesy tips provided by sex educator and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright. According to the expert, many couples become frustrated, even panicky, when their sex lives go to the wayside during stressful times. When it comes to the factor that governs a person's sex life, it's personality, reports Fox News.
Fulbright says that how an individual's sex life fares depends on whether he tries to get closer to his partner in tragic times or wants to be totally alone and if he's the withdrawing sorts, then it can create misunderstandings in the relationship.
In order to avoid any such misunderstandings and still keep sex life full of fun and passion, Fulbright has suggested that couples need to establish a common ground and mutual understanding during stressful times.Also, they should make an effort to stay connected during life's highs and lows, because if they don't, it could lead to dire consequences. And in case, sex is not on mind and also the time to be spent in the sack is less, then a person can try the following:
1. Showing appreciation for one another. Giving compliments, for example, is a simple way of expressing affection and letting your partner know that he or she is still being noticed and loved.
2. Talking daily. Chat during dinner or at bedtime. Conversations foster bonding by providing support. It's also important for couples to check in with each other, showing concern and care for one another's well-being with simple statements like, "Tell me about your day."
3. Staying positive . Bite your tongue if you're about to complain. Stressful situations are hard enough to deal with. Don't add to it if you can avoid doing so.
4. Believing in your future together. Stressful times can make lovers doubt their ability to stay together for the long haul. Insecurity issues that arise can only make matters more difficult. Making plans is one way to indicate that you're feeling secure about your future.
5. Helping each other with responsibilities . Approaching tasks with a team effort provides a greater sense of being in ‘this’ together.
6. Balancing ‘alone time’ and ‘together time.’ Create a sensual atmosphere, for example, soothing scents, dim lights, delicious food, and relaxing music to help you unwind.
7. Getting creative in how you'll be intimate . Redefine your definition of sexual intimacy when needed; try a simple body massage.
Not to forget, lovers should make it a point to give in to one another's requests for intimacy whenever possible, as it might just prove to be a big stress-buster. In fact, sex has many physical and emotional benefits, which may help in boosting your desire for more sex and emotional intimacy. Sex can easily take your mind off of your worries.
Also, patience is the key to get your sex life back on track. One should make sure that your relationship, in general, doesn't get neglected.

When you first think of kissing!


Kissing is probably one of the best things you can do with your lips. It's not just the most passionate way of getting close to your partner, it's also something that enlightens your mood and adds zing to your love life. So, what comes to your mind when you first think of kissing? A peck on the cheek or a passionate French kiss? Well, if you want to explore what turns on your mate or simply add creativity to your kissing techniques, here are some lip smacking ideas ...
Reverse lip kiss – Remember the sensuous kiss exchanged between Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst in Spiderman ? You can re-create the sizzling kiss with your partner. Of course you can't hang upside down like the famed super hero, so kiss your partner when he/she is lying down or seated. Come from behind and have them tilt their head backwards. Lower down your head and gently kiss their lower lip and feel your partner breathe on your neck. Abhishek, who works with a software company in Mumbai says, "My girlfriend really took me by surprise when I was working on my laptop. She came from behind, tilted my head backwards and gave me a kiss upside-down while I could feel her hair tickle my neck. I must confess I was quite impressed with her initiative and it really turned me on."
Underwater kiss – Dive to the bottom of the swimming pool, embrace your lover under water and suck in as if you were sucking air from their mouth. Leave them gasping for breath just for a few seconds. By the time you run out of air, reach the top, breathe and get set for the act again. If you are a guy, just pull your babe up above the water, while remaining in the pool and gently caress her thighs while rolling your tongue around her navel to provide the ultimate erotic sensation. Ashish Singh says, "I would love to lock lips with my girlfriend under water. I love water sports and I think it would just add to the sizzling underwater action. What can be more sensuous?"
Ring kiss – When you and your partner are sitting together on a couch or lazing in bed, gently hold his hand and start kissing. Then smoothly, suck a ring out of his finger with the help of your teeth. Roll your tongue and slide the ring slightly to hold it around your tongue. Then share a passionate kiss by rolling the tip of your tongue to trace his lips. Let him suck the ring from your tongue and you can try stealing it again, it will heat up the scene.
Foot kiss - This one's not just amorous, but also an erotic gesture. Gently move your fingers on his/her bare foot. It may tickle your partner initially, but relax and enjoy the sensations! Then, gently kiss her foot and suck her toes. You can make the act even more intense by rolling an ice cube on her foot as you gradually move the cube up her legs and then to her inner thighs. "My partner turns me on by massaging my foot. He rubs his thumbs in circular motions from the heel to the toe and then sucks my toes one by one. Some people think it's kinky, but you have to try it to believe it. It works for me and it's even more fun if you do it in the 69 position and face each other's feet," says newly married Meenakshi.
Nip kiss - When you kiss your partner next time, gently nibble on his/her lips. Be careful not to bite too hard and hurt them though. While smooching on one's lips is enjoyable, use your imagination and try exploring other body parts as well. Nibbling on the neck, for instance, is a great turn on. If you do it well, this kiss ignites flames of passion that will arouse you to explore your beau's body further. Arvind , who got married a year ago, says, "If I really want to drive my wife wild, nibbling is the best way to do so. It makes her squirm with desire. It is the best foreplay act and gets you in the mood for more action. Biting her gently at the right time and the right place just makes her scream for more."
Earlobe kiss - As the name suggests, gently sip and suck your partner's earlobe. Cuddle close to your sweetheart, bite gently to make him/her moan and whisper something naughty. Let him hear you breathe and feel your wet lips. This will surely make him want you more than ever. However, take extra care to avoid loud, sucking noises."My hubby simply loves it when I bite him on his earlobe. And if I say something wild or naughty during the act, it sets his mood right. Just telling him what exactly I want him to do to me...the dirtiest of things makes him long for more," says Suchita Mishra from Pune.

Allows you to get away from pressures!


Want to pep up your love life? Well, then all you need to do is plan a ‘vacation’ sex with your partner, for it can do wonders for your heart, mind, and soul, according to a new research. Sex on a holiday allows you to get away from pressures, distractions, worries and responsibilities — basically, any of those libido-killers that affect your love life most days of the year, reports the Daily Telegraph.While on vacation, you can totally devote yourself to nurturing your sexual needs and desires — and to attending to those of your lover.
This is one of the reasons the vast majority of American marriage counsellors recommend a regular weekend away as the one thing that can help a marriage, especially a struggling one.Vacation is the best place to get ‘sexperimental’. People love having sex in new places. This is in large part because of the neurotransmitter dopamine.When people have new experiences, dopamine spikes in the brain, triggering lust. And with that, many are willing to try something new and exciting.In a new, romantic, or exotic place, lovers can rediscover one another. In trying different restaurants or embarking on a variety of nightlife activities, every evening that you’re away feels like a date night, each with its own distinct backdrop.
All of this enhances lovers’ moods, helping them to feel better about one another and more connected. When you make the time for nothing but loving, that’s hopefully what you’re going to get – and lots of it. Sex will breed the desire for more sex, making both partners feel better about their sex life and the relationship.This is both for couples already content with their sex life and those hoping their vacation will make for some romance repair.

Keep cool during an argument!


If your mind is in a whirlwind, you've completely lost your temper and wondering how you can be in relationship with a partner who is so insensitive, argumentative and selfish, keeping your cool during an argument can be a challenging task.
While the age old adage says everything is fair in love and war, but disagreeing with your mate can be mentally harrowing. What's vital to sustain the relationship is to master the kiss n' make up formula. How often you disagree, how you both react and deal during a verbal wrestling match can speak a lot about your chemistry. While it's absolutely normal to disagree, it's also important to avert the war of words from getting ugly and hurtful. Read on to find out how you can agree to disagree and enjoy your differences...
Confuse him/her – Yes! Here's a fun way to settle an argument. People often stop speaking when you flood them with more information than they can mentally process. Neha Choudhary, 26, who works with a multi-national company in Delhi says, "I really improved my vocabulary while I was preparing for my CAT exams. To use it to my advantage, I always baffle my boyfriend with strange words whenever we have a tiff. While he keeps wondering what I meant, I easily have the last word."
Tip: So, folks, it's time to work on your vocabulary. Learn words that he/she can't even begin to comprehend. While they may hunt for a dictionary to find out what you meant, you may have already settled an ugly spat.
Silence speaks – "I often choose to remain quiet when I have heated arguments with my better half. I let him say whatever he wants without interrupting him. After a while, he starts feeling guilty and realises that he was over-reacting and being rude," says Yamini, 32, a home maker.
Tip: If both of you are speaking, nobody's listening (except your neighbours, ofcourse!) So, if your partner goes on and on, try and be silent for a while. Let them speak and vent out their anger and bitterness. "When you are not actively participating in the row and adding sparks, he/she will automatically stop after a while. Wait for the right time to put forth your opinion. Silence can sometimes be the best weapon,"says psychologist Archana Nanda.
Try to empathise – Ajay Sharma, 36, who works as a senior manager in a bank says, "I often feel that my wife over-reacts on trivial issues. But when I step into her shoes and analyse the problem, it highlights a new perspective and I am able to find a solution. I think it's our ego that forces us to stick to what we believe is right and stops us from thinking from others' point of view."
Tip: Try to see things from your partner's point of view, no matter how wrong or right it may seem to you at first. Empathising with your partner can lend a better understanding of the problem. It may make more sense than what you thought, which could lead to settling the argument.
React proportionately – "Once I had an argument with my wife and she walked out of the house and went to her parents' place. I think it was really silly and immature of her. It just made things worse and escalated the row. Had she stayed back, we would have sorted things out sooner," says Sanjay Rathod, 29, who works in a telecom company in Mumbai.
Tip: Don't blow things out of proportion, though the dispute may seem to be more important than anything else in the heat of the moment. It's important to keep a rational check on your emotional explosions. Identify and analyse what triggered the row in the first place. What is it that has been persistently getting on your nerves? Then ask yourself, "Is it really worth fighting for?"
Don't go angry to bed – "It makes me feel worse when my husband goes to bed without sorting out a misunderstanding or argument we had. It completely turns me off. I think it's absolutely normal to argue, but only when you don't stretch it for days or even months. Not talking to each other is no solution," says Meenakshi , 33, a home maker.
Tip: The worst thing to do is to go to bed with all the pent up anger, frustration and negative emotions that have been building up during the argument. "Sleeping over a fight will only result in waking up with resentment and grudges the next morning. So, even if you argue, keep it short and simple – don't unnecessarily stretch the argument. Be concise and your partner may actually hear you," explains Archana.

03 October, 2008

God can be experienced?


There are eight aspects in which God can be experienced: as Light, Sound, Peace, Calmness, Love, Joy, Wisdom, and Power. To experience Him as Light during meditation brings calmness to the mind, purifying it and giving it clarity. The more deeply one contemplates the inner light, the more one perceives all things as made of that light.To experience God as Sound is to commune with the Holy Ghost, or Aum, the Cosmic Vibration. When you are immersed in Aum, nothing can touch you. Aum raises the mind above the delusions of human existence, into the pure skies of divine consciousness.Peace is an early meditative experience. Peace, like a weightless waterfall, cleanses the mind of all anxiety and care, bestowing heavenly relief.
Calmness is another divine experience. This aspect of God is more dynamic and more powerful than that of Peace. Calmness gives the devotee power to overcome all the obstacles in his life. Even in human affairs, the person who can remain calm under all circumstances is invincible.Love is another aspect of god personal love, but Love infinite. Those who live in ego-consciousness think of impersonal love as cold and abstract. But divine love is all-absorbing, and infinitely comforting. It is impersonal only in the sense that it is utterly untainted by selfish desire. The unity one finds in divine love is possible only to the soul. It cannot be experienced by the ego.Joy is another aspect of God. Divine joy is like millions of earthly joys crushed into one. The quest for human happiness is like looking around for a candle while sitting out of doors in the sun. Divine joy surrounds us eternally, yet people look to mere things for their happiness. Mostly, all they find is relief from emotional or physical pain. But divine joy is the blazing Reality. Before it, earthly joys are but shadows.Wisdom is intuitive insight, not intellectual understanding. The difference between human and divine wisdom is that the human mind comes at things indirectly, from without. The scientist, for example, investigates the atom objectively. But the yogi becomes the atom. Divine perception is always from within. From within alone can a thing be understood in its true essence.Power, finally, is that aspect of God which creates and runs the universe. Imagine what power it took to bring the galaxies into existence! Masters manifest some of that power in their lives. The expression, 'Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,' describes only one side of Jesus' nature. The other side was revealed in the power with which he drove the moneychangers from the temple. Just think what magnetism it took to combat single-handedly all those men, entrenched as they were in habits and desires that had been sanctioned by ancient custom!People are often appalled by the power they see expressed in the lives of saints. But remember, you will never find God until you are very strong in yourself. Power may exercise less appeal on your mind than other aspects of God, but it is important to realize that divine power, too, is a part of your divine nature.Whatever aspect of God you experience in meditation, never keep it contained in the little chalice of your consciousness, but try always to expand that experience to infinity.


Do your work so well!


Do your work so well that your employer can't get along without you. Don't be like the employee who is always looking at his watch and waiting to go home. Whatever your job, do it as well as possible."
The Three Stages of Success

The stages of success are the following: (1) Choosing a vocation that suits you. (2) Performing your work with attention, interest, and love. (3) Developing unfailing patience and ongoing interest.
1. Choose a vocation that suits you

Select your vocation according to your inner inclination and intuitive meditative guidance. Don't seek success in a business you hate. Someone who is a vegetarian out of spiritual conviction, for example, should never go into a business of butchering animals or selling meat.In my own case, it would have been folly to become a railroad man as was planned for me. I loved philosophy and religion from boyhood, and I made up my mind to establish my own schools and institutions and never hold a job under anyone.By developing your concentration and creativity, you can learn to love any kind of work and succeed in any field. But it is better to use your creative ability in work to which you are instinctively attracted.
2. Perform your work with attention, interest and love

Developing your usefulness is the surest way of succeeding in any job. Take as much interest in the business as the owner. By "business" I mean any systematic plan to achieve a goal through self-help or the help of others. To lecture, run a religious organization, earn money, or sell something requires the application of business principles.It's important each day to add to your knowledge of your job. One of the most effective ways to do this is through creative thinking. By this I mean meditating and putting your entire concentration on how you can improve your performance, and how the business overall can be enhanced.If you do this every day for at least a half-hour, your understanding of what will make for success will increase a hundredfold. For me, understanding and success came mainly through trust in God, meditation and creative thinking. For example, in 1925 when I was beginning a lecture series in San Francisco, I had only $200 in the bank and no other funds. When I mentioned this to my secretary, he nearly collapsed. I said: "What is the matter with you? God is with us. He won't leave us now. In seven days He will give us all the money we need."
Sure enough, a few days later a man walked up to me and said: "I would like to help you." I argued:"But you do not even know me." He replied: "I know you from your eyes." Then and there he wrote me a check for $27,000.Remember that your real employer is God. Anyone who works for God and respects those for whom he works can never fail. No matter how small your duty, do it with the cheerful, careful consciousness of pleasing God.Many people think that unless they are "at it" in their jobs day and night they will not succeed. That is not true. Success comes from living in a balanced way and never sacrificing your daily engagement of meditation. Don't let your business engagements always come first.
3. Develop unfailing patience and ongoing interest

Learn to tolerate a cranky employer by increasing your kindness and courtesy and inwardly ignoring his behavior. During meditation, concentrate at the point between the eyebrows and broadcast the following: "Father, calm my employer."Avoid the pitfalls of mechanical habit by always thinking of how to improve what you are doing. You must express the limitless power of the soul in everything you do. Be in love with your present work but strive always to advance.
In striving to get ahead, take advantage of every opportunity for advancement but never infringe upon the rights of others. In Boston, I once had an experience that illustrates my point. The sidewalks were jammed with people coming home from work.I said to myself: "Thousands are walking ahead of me, but I must be at the head of this crowd. If there is a little opening anywhere, I shall go through it." And so, wherever there was a space I went through it until I got to the head of the crowd.This was fine because all I did was take advantage of my opportunity. I only went through where I saw a space. I never tried to push anyone out of his place.Use your creative ability to develop your employer's business so long as you can continue to learn or advance to a higher position. If your work becomes mechanical and there is no opportunity to advance, secure a position in a business where you can continue to grow creatively.
Material versus spiritual work

Destroy the false division between material and spiritual work. Only work done with a purely selfish motive is material. All work is spiritual if done with the goal of serving others. Businesses that concentrate on serving their customers with the best items at the lowest cost will always succeed.

God to direct your intuition!


Intuition is that directly perceiving faculty of the soul which at once knows the truth about anything. Unless you have the power of intuition, you cannot possibly know Truth. It is the knowing power of the soul without the help of the senses or the mind. Intuition can give you knowledge about things which your senses and understanding can never give. Intuition does not depend upon any outside data whatsoever.
Intuition Means Soul-Perception

Intuition means "soul-perception." It shows the difference between true and false reasoning. Errors are made by people who fail to distinguish between a real "hunch" or intuition, and their conceptions born of intellect, experience, or blind belief.Many books and courses of study are prescribed for students in school, but nothing is taught them about concentration and the development of the sixth sense-the all-knowing faculty of intuition. Many people make mistakes in everything, from the study of health and business up to the study of philosophy and religion. Thousands of people make wrong investments and take wrong paths because their minds are not scientifically guided by intuition.By the development of intuition one can outgrow the law of cause and effect in one's own life. Intuition tunes the mental radio so that it can intercept all vibrations of future happenings which otherwise are deflected by diverse currents.
Developing Intuition

Pure reason and calm feeling lead to intuition. Therefore, the first requisite in developing it is to calmly reason and calmly feel everything. Intuition is developed by exercising common sense, daily introspection and analysis, depth of thought and continued activity in one direction, calmness, and, best of all, by meditation, holding to its calm after-effects. This is the only way. You then begin to perceive everything which is within as well as without.If you can produce a perfect state of calmness in concentration and meditation, when you have a deep problem to solve, you will be able to solve it. If you hold to the calmness that comes after meditation, then you will be guided aright. Intuition guides your reason. When you have developed intuition, you will stand firm in your knowledge, though the whole heavens and the universe rise up to defeat you. Whenever you want to intuitively solve a problem, first go into deep meditation or silence. Do not think of your problem during meditation, but meditate until you feel that a sense of calmness fills the inner recesses of your body, and your breath becomes calm and quiet. Then ask God to direct your intuition so that you may know what you should do.
First, try to find out the truth about simple problems; then, when you find your intuition working infallibly, use it in finding the solution to big problems. For example, suppose two propositions are given you about a business matter; both propositions seem very attractive, but both cannot be right for you. You are obliged to decide between them, and you can decide rightly by your intuitive sense. Supermen continually use their intuition in everything they do, and thus accomplish the seemingly impossible.

We learn life's lessons!


Through tests we learn life's lessons. Tests are not meant to crush us: They are to develop our powers. They come through the natural law of progress and are necessary for us to advance from lower to higher steps.Mind is the source of all your troubles and all your happiness. You really are stronger than all your tests. If you don't realize it now, you will have to realize it later. God has given you the power to control your mind and body and thus be free from pain and sorrow. Never say, "I am through." Do not poison your mind by thinking that if you walk a little more you will over-exert yourself, or if you cannot get certain foods you will suffer, and so on.Never allow your mind to entertain thoughts of illness or limitation: You will see your body change for the better. Remember that mind is the power that is creating this body, and if the mind is weak, the body becomes weak. Don't grieve or worry about anything.
If you strengthen your mind, you will not feel bodily pains. No matter what happens, you must be absolutely free in your mind. As in a dream, you may think that you are ill but, awakened by a slap, you see it is not true. So in the state of wakefulness you must know that this life is also nothing but a dream. Mind has no connection with the body apart from what connection you give it. When your mind can completely remain apart from the body at will, you will be free. Remember that you are immortal.In order to pass life's tests, you will need rejuvenation in both body and mind. You will need to develop elasticity of the mind. If you can't meet life's tests, you will be helpless when trials and tribulations come.At times life seems to be a cruel game. The only justification for it is that in reality it is only a dream. You have had many experiences through many incarnations and you will have others in future incarnations, but they should not frighten you. You must play all parts in the motion picture of life, inwardly saying, "I am Spirit." This is the great consolation that wisdom gives us.Realize the presence of the Infinite. Behold God, your own Father, your own Spirit, behind the shadows. In your heart of hearts realize this, no matter what your impulses dictate. Let nothing sit on the throne of your heart but God. If you love God's creation more than God, you will be disillusioned. God must be first, last, and always. Do not follow the dictates of this earthly dreamland, for dreams sometimes turn into nightmares. Break this dream delusion by waking in God, and you will be safe forever.

We selfishly keep for self!


Invoke God as power in the temple of consciousness during the day. Let every action and every word that you utter be tinged and tipsy with God-love intoxication. Talk and act sensibly as a man who keeps his senses awake and in command. Be drunk with God and let every action of your daily life be a temple of God's memory. Perform every action to please Him; and in the indestructible shrine of your devotion God will listen in every thought.Carry your love of God deep in your heart before you sleep. Cradle it there, so that when you dream you may dream of Him as resting on the fragrant altar of sleep, as Krishna or Christ or Peace or Bliss. In the temple of Sleep or Dreams, feel God as Peace or as ever-new Bliss. Actually, God embraces you on His Bosom as Peace and Joy when you go to sleep in the subconscious chamber of your temple of dreams. Then you are sleeping locked in His Arms of Tranquillity. So, before you fall asleep, realize that you are going to embrace Him in sleep and dreams.
And when you are deeply sleeping or meditating, feel Him embracing you as the Omnipresent Bliss.The Great Omnipresence touches you in sleep and meditation, and through His Bliss-touch He wants to make you forget your little, painful, worrying memories, mental and physical aches and spiritual agonies, which you garnered during your truant stay in the slums of matter.Enthrone peace and joy in your heart. Feel that joy, no matter whom you meet and no matter what you do. If you can do this, though the universe shatter itself into nothingness or your soul or body be torn by trials, you will find Him dancing in your memory forever and forever. Let pure joy dance in your memory, and God will dance with you.Hold fast to your once lost spiritual treasure of joy. Now that it is regained, increase it by giving it freely to others and generously investing it in other hearts. Remember that whatsoever we selfishly keep for self is lost; and whatsoever we freely give in love to others, that treasure cannot be lost but yields its ever- increasing harvest of happiness, world without end.Worry and selfishness are highwaymen on the roadways of life, and they hold us up and rob us of our wealth of joy and peace. So, determine to hold fast to joy, no matter if death shall frown at your doors or your own subconscious mind may tell you that ''all is lost.'' Drown all confusing noises in the silent, sweet harmony of your perfect, invincible joy.

Magnetism is the power!


Magnetism is the power by which you draw things to you: the right husband or wife, the right business, the right friends, and so on. Magnetism of every kind originates in the Infinite Spirit.
A bundle of magnets

Each human being is a medium through which God's magnetism flows. All parts of the body that come in pairs—eyes, ears, hands, feet, etc.—form magnets of greater or lesser power.Soul magnetism is expressed through the eyes, weakly or strongly, depending on one's spiritual development. Some highly developed people are able to spiritualize or heal others solely by the magnetism of their eyes.
First develop spiritual magnetism

Unless your magnetism is right, you will draw the wrong people or things. Fear, for example, creates a malignant magnetism by which a person attracts the very object of his fear. The magnetism of humility, on the other hand, attracts the all-protecting presence of friends, saints, and God.If you use all your magnetism to gain material things, sooner or later you will be disillusioned. But if you first develop spiritual magnetism, it will guide you in the proper ways to supply your material needs.
Strong and weak magnetism

Everyone possesses the power of magnetism, but very few people are truly magnetic. Negative qualities such as material desire, passivity, revenge, hatred, and feelings of inferiority obstruct that magnetic power.
If you are absent-minded, thinking one thing while doing something else, your energy is divided and you have little magnetism. Doing everything with will power and one-pointed concentration greatly strengthens your magnetism.If you are a slave to any of the senses, you are losing magnetism. If you have control over them, you are developing magnetism. Emotionalism is very de-magnetizing, whereas even-mindedness in the face of all difficulties leads to magnetic living.In order to have magnetism, it is necessary to keep the body free from poisons that obstruct the flow of energy. Only with inner cleanliness can all of your energy be displayed through your eyes, face and body.
We exchange magnetism with our associates

We must be careful with whom we associate because we are continually exchanging magnetism with people through our thoughts, shaking hands, and our eyes.We become like the people we mingle with, not through their conversation, but through the silent magnetic vibration that goes out of their bodies. The stronger person gives his vibration to the weaker.For example, if a reformer of weak character endeavors to influence a confirmed evildoer, it is quite likely that the reformer will draw evil qualities. Only in a very limited way will the evildoer draw good qualities.
The right kind of magnetism

"The right kind of magnetic power has expanding, uplifting, spiritual qualities. Some people are so magnetic that they vibrate kindness and you love them immediately. This is the sort of magnetic power we should try to develop.""Try always to be dressed in the magnetic qualities of calmness, fair-mindedness, firmness, wisdom, and understanding. Wherever you go, scatter kindness; let your eyes and heart be charged with God. That is what Jesus meant when He said: "Be ye fishers of men."One can develop spiritual magnetism through will power, regular meditation, and thinking of God and saintly people. By visualizing and meditating on saintly people, one attracts their spiritual magnetism.Use your time to develop spiritual magnetism to attract the Imperishable. When you have developed the power to attract the highest, you can easily attract all lesser things.
Developing the Right Kind of Magnetism

  • One strongly good individual plus one weak evil individual—the good magnetism will be predominant.
  • A strong spiritual power plus a strong business success results in both a strong spiritual magnetism and a strong business magnetism.
  • A strong failure plus a strong success can result in either a strong failure magnetism or a strong success magnetism.
  • A person of great calmness plus a person with a slightly angry disposition--the magnetism of calmness will be predominant.
  • A strong intellectual power plus a weak intellect--the strong intellectual power will be predominant.

chaitanya

ceto-darpana-marjanam bhava-maha--davagni-nirvapanam
sreyah-kairava-candrika-vitaranam vidya-vadhu-jivanam
anandambudhi-vardhanam prati-padam purnamrtasvadanam
sarvatma-snapanam param vijayate sri-Krishna-sankirtanam

namnam akari bahudha nija-sarva-saktis
tatrarpita niyamitah smarane na kalah
etadrsi tava krpa bhagavan mamapi
durdaivam idrsam ihajani nanuragah

trnad api sunicena
taror api sahisnuna
amanina manadena
kirtaniyah sada harih

na dhanam na janam na sundarim
kavitam va jagad-isa kamaye
mama janmani janmanisvare
bhavatad bhaktir ahaituki tvayi

ayi nanda-tanuja kinkaram
patitam mam visame bhavambudhau
krpaya tava pada-pankaja-
sthita-dhuli-sadrsam vicintaya

nayanam galad-asru-dharaya
vadanam gadgada-ruddhaya gira
pulakair nicitam vapuh kada
tava nama-grahane bhavisyati

yugayitam nimesena
caksusa pravrsayitam
sunyayitam jagat sarvam
govinda-virahena me

aslisya va pada-ratam pinastu mam
adarsanan marma-hatam karotu va
yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato
mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah

madhuram

Adharam Madhuram, Vadanam Madhram,
Nayanam Madhuram, Hasitham Maduram,
Hrudhayam Madhuram, Gamanam Maduram,
Madhuradhipather Akhilam Madhuram.

Vachanam Madhuram, Charitham Madhuram,
Vasanam Madhuram, Valitham Madhuram,
Chalitham Madhuram, Bramitham Maduram,
Madhurathipather Akhilam Madhuram.

Venur Madhura, Renur Madhura,
Panir Madhura, Padhou Madhura,
Nrithyam Madhuram, Sakhyam MadhuraM,
Madurathipather Akhilam Maduram

Geetham Madhuram, Peetham Madhuram,
Bhuktham Madhuram,Suptham Madhuram,
Roopam Madhuram, Thilakam Madhuram
Madhurathipather akhilam Madhuram.

Karanam Madhram, Tharanam Madhuram,
Haranam Madhuram, Ramanam Madhuram,
Vamitham Madhuram, Samitham Maduram,
Madhurathipather akhilam Madhuram.

Gunja Madhura, Mala Madhura,
Yamuna Madhura, Veechi Madhura,
Salilam Madhuram, Kamalam Madhuram,
Madhurathipather akhilam Madhuram.

Gopi Madhura, Leela Madhura,
Yuktham Madhuram, Muktham Madhuram,
Drishtam Madhuram,Sishtam Madhram,
Madhurathipather akhilam Madhuram

Gopa Madhura, Gavo Madhura,
Yashtir Madhura, Srushtir Madhra,
Dhalitham Madhram, Phalitham Madhuram,
Madhurathipather akhilam Madhuram.

bhaj govindam

bhajagovindam bhajagovindam govindam
bhaja muudhamate sampraapte sannihite
kaale nahi nahi rakshati dukrijnkarane

mudha jahiihi dhanaagamatrishhnaam kuru
sadbuddhim manasi vitrishhnaam
yallabhase nijakarmopaattam vittam tena vinodaya chittam

naariistanabhara naabhiidesham
drishhtvaa maagaamohaavesham etanmaamsaavasaadi vikaaram manasi vichintaya vaaram vaaram

naliniidalagata jalamatitaralam tadvajjiivitamatishayachapalam viddhi vyaadhyabhimaanagrastam lokam shokahatam cha samastam

yaavadvittopaarjana saktah staavannija
parivaaro raktah pashchaajjiivati jarjara dehe vaartaam koapi na prichchhati gehe

yaavatpavano nivasati dehe taavatprichchhati kushalam gehe gatavati vaayau dehaapaaye bhaaryaa
bibhyati tasminkaaye

baalastaavatkriidaasaktah
tarunastaavattaruniisaktah vriddhastaavachchintaasaktah pare brahmani koapi na saktah

kaate kaantaa kaste putrah samsaaro.ayamatiiva
vichitrah kasya tvam kah kuta aayaatah tattvam chintaya tadiha bhraatah

satsangatve nissngatvam nissangatve
nirmohatvam nirmohatve nishchalatattvam nishcalatattve jiivanmuktih

vayasigate kah kaamavikaarah shushhke
niire kah kaasaarah kshiinevitte kah parivaarah gyaate tattve kah samsaarah

maa kuru dhana jana yauvana garvam
harati nimeshhaatkaalah sarvam maayaamayamidamakhilaM hitvaa brahmapadaM tvaM pravisha viditvaa

dinayaaminyau saayam praatah
shishiravasantau punaraayaatah kaalah kriidati gachchhatyaayuh tadapi na mujncatyaashaavaayuh

dvaadashamajnjarikaabhirasheshhah kathito vaiyaakaranasyaishhah upadesho bhuudvidyaanipunaih shriimachchhankarabhagavachchharanarih

kaate kaantaa dhana gatachintaa vaatula kim tava
naasti niyantaa trijagati sajjanasam gatiraikaa bhavati bhavaarnavatarane naukaa

jatilo mundii lujnchhitakeshah kaashhaayaambarabahukritaveshhah pashyannapi
cana pashyati muudhah udaranimittam bahukritaveshhah

angam galitam palitam mundam dashanavihiinam
jatam tundam vriddho yaati grihiitvaa dandam
tadapi na mujncatyaashaapindam

agre vahnih prishhthebhaanuh raatrau chubukasamarpitajaanuh karatalabhikshastarutalavaasah tadapi na mujncatyaashaapaashah

kurute gangaasaagaragamanam vrataparipaalanamathavaa daanam gyaanavihinah sarvamatena muktim na bhajati janmashatena

sura mandira taru muula nivaasah shayyaa bhuutala
majinam vaasah sarva parigraha bhoga tyaagah kasya sukham na karoti viraagah

yogarato vaabhogaratovaa sangarato
vaa sangaviihinah
yasya brahmani ramate chittam nandati nandati nandatyeva

bhagavad giitaa kijnchidadhiitaa gangaa
jalalava kanikaapiitaa sakridapi yena muraari samarchaa kriyate tasya yamena na charchaa

punarapi jananam punarapi maranam punarapi
jananii jathare shayanam iha samsaare bahudustaare kripayaa apaare paahi muraare

rathyaa charpata virachita kanthah punyaapunya
vivarjita panthah yogii yoganiyojita chitto ramate baalonmattavadeva

kastvam ko.aham kuta aayaatah kaa me jananii ko
me taatah iti paribhaavaya sarvamasaaram vishvam tyaktvaa svapna vichaaram

tvayi mayi chaanyatraiko vishhnuh vyartham
kupyasi mayyasahishhnuh bhava samachittah sarvatra tvam vaajnchhasyachiraadyadi vishhnutvam

shatrau mitre putre bandhau maa kuru
yatnam vigrahasandhau sarvasminnapi pashyaatmaanam sarvatrotsrija bhedaagyaanam

kaamam krodham lobham moham tyaktvaa
atmaanam bhaavaya ko aham aatmagyaana vihiinaa muudhaah te pachyante narakaniguudhaah

geyam giitaa naama sahasram dhyeyam
shriipati ruupamajasram neyam sajjana sange chittam deyam diinajanaaya cha vittam

sukhatah kriyate raamaabhogah pashchaaddhanta
shariire rogah yadyapi loke maranam sharanam tadapi na mujnchati paapaacharanam

arthamanartham bhaavaya nityam naastitatah sukhaleshah satyam putraadapi dhana bhaajaam bhiitih
sarvatraishhaa vihitaa riitih

praanaayaamam pratyaahaaram nityaanitya vivekavichaaram jaapyasameta samaadhividhaanam
kurvavadhaanam mahadavadhaanam

gurucharanaambuja nirbhara bhakatah samsaaraadachiraadbhava muktah sendriyamaanasa niyamaadevam drakshyasi nija hridayastham devam

muudhah kashchana vaiyaakarano dukrijnkaranaadhyayana dhurinah shriimachchhamkara bhagavachchhishhyai
bodhita aasichchhodhitakaranah

bhajagovindam bhajagovindam govindam
bhajamuudhamate naamasmaranaadanyamupaayam nahi pashyaamo bhavatarane

nirbhya nirgun

Nirbhay Nirgun Gun Re Gaunga ||

Mool Kamal Dradh Aasan Bandhu-ji
Ulti Pavan Chadaunga ||

Man Mamta Ko Thir Kar Laun-ji
Pancho Tat Milaunga ||

Ingala Pingala Sukhman Nadi-ji
Tirveni Pe Haun Nahaunga ||

Panch Pachhison Pakad Mangaun-ji
Ek Hi Dor Lagaunga ||

Shunya Shikhar Par Anhad Baje-ji
Raag Chattis Sunaunga ||

Kahat Kabir Suno Bhai Sadho-ji
Jeet Nishan Ghuraunga ||